Tuesday, January 25, 2011

365 Project: Jan 11 - 25

Well, this is almost certainly not going to end up being a 365 project, as I have missed several days already, and it's only January. It will probably end up being about a 250 project, if the current rate continues. Further declines in productivity will, of course, shrink that number even more.


11/01/11

'Leaf at Dusk'



12/01/11

'Tribute'

Only a tribute,
this is not the best haiku:
Refrigerator

(See the best haiku in the world here, if you don't understand that one.)


16/01/11

Note written this day: given that discipline has never been a particularly strong point for me, trying to undertake tri-weekly exercise and daily creativity starting on January 1 may have been a bit ambitious. (And the exercise isn't going that well either.)

'On Pausing to Look Around'

At first I didn't notice
how
the path sloped
gently down.
Eventually I realised I couldn't see
as far
ahead
as before
and thought I must be descending.
But the drop was gradual,
nothing sudden, nothing obvious to alarm me.

Then I thought of heading home,
and when I turned,
I saw how very far
I had to climb.


17/01/10

In Asia, a sauce,
but in Spain, the Hebrew God:
Oh, versatile soy!


18/01/11

'Archeology'

In a digital age
I'm still printing my photos
and putting them in labelled albums.

I'm not sure why I persist -
photos fade after all, when well-secured images
can last forever.

But I have a need
to see the chronicle of my
of our
life,
and to create an artifact,
so there will be something left.


19/01/11

There's that headache that aches and that sears,
which is brought on by tantrums and tears.
But don't worry, they say,
it'll just go away,
in around about 25 years.


22/01/11

I drew a mind-map of my assumptions and derived beliefs. I'm not going to post it here because who the hell wants to see it?


23/01/11

An attempt at a 'letter haiku' - 5-7-5 letters per line. No idea if this is a pre-existing form or not.

Child
awakens
Tears


25/01/11

Funny
spending your whole life
surrounded by a thing,
seeing it every day,
picking out the connections,
and never completely getting it.
Funny
to finally get it,
and still be unsure
how to grasp it.


Read more!

Monday, January 10, 2011

365 Project: Jan 6 - 10

Five more days of my 365 project. Three poems (none of them haiku, though one of them did begin life that way) and two photographs. Also, the entry for the 9th was thought of on the 8th, forgotten on the 9th, then shot, together with the other photo, on the 10th. Still, better late than never, I guess. Also, I apologise for the bike poem. It's awful, but I wrote it, so here it is, I suppose.


06/01/11

'New Bike'

Grab a fistful of throttle
and lean
into the thunder rumble,
dragging a peg through the curve.


07/01/11

'Seascape'

I am standing at the edge,
and clear green waters wait below.

When I hit, there will be the
slap
of the surface splitting under my feet.

Then will be the cool of the sea against my skin,
scorched and dried by the sun.

Tiny bubbles will swarm around me,
crawl over my skin and through my hair.

I wish I could find it in me to
jump.


08/01/11

I don't want to write
a fucking poem tonight,
or a phrase
jotted
down
like
some
list.

And I wonder if this
ridiculous
act of self-anulling
protest
counts for a
single
god-damn
thing?


09/01/11

'Mortar and Pestle'




10/01/11

'Floating'



Read more!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

365 Project: Jan 3 - 5

The next three entries in the project: a piece of photo editing (the photo is old; the editing is my first attempt at the 'popping out of the frame' look), a poem, and a haiku.


03/01/11



04/01/11

'Metapoem'
There was a time
when words came thick
and fast,
tumbling from my pen
like European fruit-pickers
with expired work visas
tumble from Kombi vans
when the Department comes knocking.
Now they are beligerant,
grudingly giving up a haiku perhaps,
but glowering
and sulking if I ask
for anything more.


05/01/11

haiku
My beautiful child,
a simple wish for you now:
won't you bloody sleep?

Read more!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

New Year's Resolution

As a general rule I don't make resolutions each January. In fact, I don't think I've every made one before in my life. However, this year I'm at least setting myself a goal, or a project. Since I frequently catch myself spending prolonged periods of time playing games on my iPhone and reading - consuming - and often feel that I am not creating very much, I'm going to attempt a creative 365 project. That is to say, one creation per day, everyday, for 2011. A this stage I'm thinking that this will either take the form of a photo or a poem (at least a haiku) per day. I'll upload them piecemeal as I get time.

(Incidentally, if you want to see some really good photographic 365 projects, head over to Flickr and search for 365. You will find some people with real talent and, equally impressive, commitment.)

So here are two haiku (because I am too lazy to start with anything harder). I suspect that there is something rather wanky about taking haiku seriously. On the upside, only one of these can really be accused of that.

01/01/11
This specific pain,
for to us a child is born:
sleep deprivation.

02/01/11
Quiet hours of night:
The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes
and a glass of scotch.
Read more!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Trashy Serialised Fiction Part II

Part Two. More dialogue and exposition. Sorry.

Malory found walking through Ferris Wheel an unsettling experience, not matter how many times he came here. The restrictions were a big part of that – scavengers were only allowed to be in the city in groups of four, and certain of the heavier weapons had to be checked at the gate – as was the presence of other scavengers. Within a couple of minutes of getting through the walls, Malory had locked eyes with a familiar face. Eyes creased with wry amusement had stared at him from across the street, and after a moment he had placed the weathered skin and prematurely grey hair. They belonged to a member of another scavenger gang who, three days ago, had tried to shoot Malory through the face as they squared off over a valuable piece of electronics. A burst of covering fire from Hugo, who always had to lean into the recoil from his monstrous and heavily modified gun, had sent the man ducking away before he could work out his aim. Malory felt no rancor toward him now, and in any case, fighting between scavengers in Ferris Wheel was punishable by immediate death for all involved. But the sense of unease remained. In my old life, he thought, if someone was trying to kill you, you killed them back, whenever you got the chance. The dissonance contributed further to the prickling in the centre of his back whenever he came in here. Haven had different rules to the rest of the world, and he had been learning them since he and his men had arrived.
And, he thought, trying to ignore the looks that the locals gave him, the rules are different in every city within Haven itself. Ferris Wheel was quieter than Tumblehome, because the city authority was more brutal. Trading was protected in Hooch, but also less profitable, because of the taxes levied. The cities were ruled according to the ideas of whoever was in charge. There was no uniformity. There were also no instructions, and you learnt by observation.
Haven's cities tended to be built on top of old towns. The large cities that had once dotted the country were gone, slagged in the barrages during the purge. It would have been impossible to have eked out a living among the rubble and the solidified molten remains of skyscrapers, and it seemed that those who had survived had no desire to go back to them anyway. They were not a happy memory to be sharing. Instead, the people had gathered in whatever towns had been small enough to avoid the attention of the outside military, and started again. They had swept away the detritus once the ground troops left, picked up the walls that had fallen, and worked from there. Back in Falael, when he had a normal life, Malory would have called Ferris Wheel a slum. Now it didn't look so bad, and he could see order in the improvised dwellings. He could even see pride: a tapestry hung in a window here, a painting done on the wall in the four available colours over there, said that this was a place people made their lives, as well as their livings.
'Captain,' murmured Kipling, and Malory glanced back at him. The squad's sharp-shooter nodded at the far side of the street. 'Someone's taking an interest in us.' Malory looked, and spotted the man, apparently not armed, who leaned against the wall of a two storey building with a tin roof. He was staring at the four troops with lasting interest, and not just the usual irritable curiosity that characterised the people of Ferris Wheel. Malory hesitated for a moment, then shrugged.
'Browning, with me. Kipling, wait here and keep an eye on us. Dumas, stay with him.' The two men nodded, Kipling's hand straying to the butt of his rifle for just an instant before he relaxed again. Malory crossed the street slowly, Browning by his side, straight toward the man, who still stared at him levelly, arms crossed. Malory still couldn't see a weapon.
'See any friends?' he asked Browning, quietly.
'Nope,' Browning replied. He had been looking up and down the street since Kipling had first spoken, his eyes never resting in one place. He did not seem concerned, and knowing Browning, he probably wasn't very. 'If he's with anyone, they're not being obvious about it.'
Malory grunted in response, and then they were standing in front of the man. He stood up two steps up on an elevated porch, and Malory and Browning stopped in the gutter.
'Help you?' Malory asked, looking up at him, and the man's mouth twitched a small smile.
'Maybe. New in Haven?'
'Not really,' Malory said.
'People don't usually keep their uniforms long,' the man said, nodding at Malory's blue fatigues.
'People don't usually live long,' Malory said, shrugging. 'So it would be hard to know.' He began to turn away.
'Heard you might be interested in a new rifle, Captain,' the man said, and Malory paused. 'Like an Arrow maybe? I'm Jonah,' he said, without a pause. Malory turned back.
'My rifle's fine, and Arrows are expensive. Always looking for ammo though.'
'Not for you. For him.' The man called Jonah nodded over Malory's head at where Kipling was standing, watching them without moving. Malory sensed Browning tense.
'Well, Jonah,' Malory said after a pause, 'you certainly seem to know a lot. I might wonder how.'
Jonah laughed. 'Please. A dark-skinned scavenger, in UF uniform, says a name like Breach-Arrow in a town like Catchment, word gets around. New arrivals, military trained, maybe cashed up? Your reputation goes out around you. And you don't exactly make yourselves hard to spot, do you?'
'I suppose not,' Malory replied, without laughing. He relaxed a little though.
'So, are they right? Are you interested?'
'We'll take a look, but we're not exactly cashed up. Sorry if that disappoints you.'
Jonah pushed himself upright, and took the two steps down into the street, looking Malory in the face.
'Figured. This ain't exactly the kind of Arrow you'd be used to seeing either. Hopefully that won't disappoint you.'
Malory shrugged. 'Not me.' He turned and beckoned Kipling over. 'Him.'
Kipling started across the street, and after a quick look left and right, Dumas followed him. 'Sir?'
Malory allowed himself a small smile.
'This is Jonah,' he said. 'He wants to talk to you about a Breach-Arrow.' He saw Kipling's eyes widen momentarily. 'Try not to look too hungry.'
'Yes sir,' the sniper said, quickly regaining control. Malory wondered what this was going to cost.
Read more!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Trashy Serialised Fiction

Doing a spot of fiction writing. Haven't done any of that for a while, so I may be quite shit. Assuming that a couple of conditions are met (I remain motivated, and people don't seem to utterly hate this) I may try to continue this story here at Room in Nations (the blog that FB is stealing this from, if you're reading it on the big blue monster). It's largely unedited at this point: you've been warned.

Dante walked slowly over to where his captain was sitting, his back to the lit camp, staring out into the darkness. Malory had placed himself in the shadow of a fallen slab of concrete, and he was leaning against a low heap of rubble. It broke up his silhouette for anyone approaching. That was unlikely enough, this far back, but still.
'Mind if I join you, sir?'
Malory reached down and lifted the rifle that had been lying next to him, propped on a smaller chunk of rocky cement, making space.
'Have a seat, Virge.'
Dante lowered himself down, reflexively picking a spot, like Malory, where his outline would be indistinct. He adjusted his belt to move his various pouches of tools and ammo, then settled his weight. He looked out into the night, at the grey shapes of broken civilisation that blurred and faded into absolute darkness. There was single light shining dimly, a long way off, which might have been a fire. A camp, some part of his mind thought, or perhaps just a guttering flame in a burnt out building. An accident, or mindless arson.
'It really is a fucking wasteland, isn't it?'
Dante grunted agreement. He recognised the captain's mood for what it was, heard it in his tone. He felt the same way some days, especially when it was cold, and his chest bothered him the most. Nights like tonight weren't too bad.
'I feel like I should be grateful for it, sometimes,' Malory went on, a little above a murmur. 'It saved us after all.' Dante didn't reply, and after a pause the other man finished, 'But I hate it, too.'
Dante thought for a moment, then nodded in the gloom. 'Me too.'
Malory laughed, and though it was only a low chuckle, it wasn't completely without humour.
'Christ, Virge, whatever happened to military discipline? Since when do sergeants listen to their captains bitching?'
Dante smiled. 'Since when do they get told to call them Tom?'
'Huh,' Malory grunted, a final laugh before Dante sensed the amusement gradually leaving him, his shoulders slumping slightly again. 'Huh,' he said again, thoughtfully. Dante knew he was thinking about that issue, that military discipline, and what to do with it now. 'It's only going to take us so far,' said Malory, as though reading his friend's mind. 'Our context has changed a lot, and we need a new balance. I'm worried about Conrad.'
Dante didn't answer, but he was worried about the young man from Mallen, as well. There was an insolence there that was becoming more and more noticeable, less and less repressed. Something was sticking into Dante's back, and he shifted slightly, almost unconsciously. He seldom missed his mattress now, but rubble was still a bit uncompromising. 'I don't know how far there is to go out here anyway,' he said, after a pause.
Malory turned his head to look sidelong at the sergeant.
'Well, do you want to die here?'
Dante thought for a second, then smiled.
'No, I don't. You?' he countered.
Malory sat silent for some time, looking, unseeing, into the night. Finally he stirred.
'No,' he said. 'I don't want to die here.'
Read more!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Which Doctor?

I was out at the shops yesterday, with my lovely wife and daughter. We paused for coffee - or at least, I had a coffee; Stacie went with hot-chocolate, and we heartlessly confined our offspring to water - and then had a few other things to do. Scooping up little Charlie, I leaned over to put her in the stroller, twisting slightly to get around the table as I did so. I was at that point that I felt a sensation in my back that could best be described as Ping.

As anyone who has experienced it knows, that Ping is a truly unique sensation. It needs no further explanation to the initiated; the innocent are better off not knowing. But I suppose, for the morbidly curious, it felt a little like when you grip the base of your fingers and squeeze them together, so your knuckles jump over each other. Only in my back. And agonisingly painful.

Mark Twain once said that 'The world is a book, and those that do not travel read only one page.' This pain had aspirations of reading as much of the book of Chris as possible. Its fury spread across my back of course, but intensified with every breath: as a consequence, I found myself involuntarily tensing the muscles in my stomach and chest, trying to limit their movement. Unfortunately, this not only hurt even more, it also began deprive me of a certain amount of oxygen. Which also hurt.

I have hurt myself in the past in similar ways, though seldom as severely. Always I have been told, 'make sure you see a physio.' Having the planning disability known as 'being a man', by the time I ever thought seriously about it, the pain had gone away on its own. Yesterday, however, was different. By which I mean, my wife rang the physiotherapist around the corner and made an appointment for me.

I have never before spoken to a physiotherapist - at least, not in a professional capacity. I have a friend who graduated from Physiotherapy a few years ago. Stacie and I were invited to have dinner with her and her husband a couple of weeks ago, along with some other friends. In the warm after-glow of an excellent meal (both of our hosts are very capable cooks, and they had made dinner between them, a dish each, carefully assigned separate ends of the kitchen as their work spaces, since they are both what you might call 'alpha-chefs) we sat talking over coffee and scotch. Relatively recently graduated from Social Work, I laughingly complained that I sometimes feel like a child, pretending I know how to do my job; my friend the physio agreed. (I felt an even greater deal of sympathy for her than I might otherwise; I work in a high-school, so though my coworkers are older than me, as a rule, my clients are younger. She, on the other-hand, works principally with those over the age of 60.)

However, with no sort of warm glow whatsoever today (unless you count the Deep Heat cream) I made my way to the physiotherapist. I was greeted by an even-more-recently graduated young woman (in the course of our conversation, her side even and considered, my side jerkily put forward between stabs of pain, she told me that she completed her studies at the end of last year) who assessed my back and sides before going to work.

Generally speaking, I believe that I have a reasonable immune system. However, I have made my share of trips to the doctor over the years, and I have noticed this one thing: when you walk out of a doctor's surgery, if you feel any different than when you walked in, it is normally because your level of physical discomfort has increased. Doctors poke you and prod you, put cold things on you, stick things into you and are generally fairly merciless in their quest to make you well. I find that they help, in the long term, and I get better. However, this takes time, and I cannot remember having ever walked out of a doctor's surgery feeling 'cured'. Today was something of a revelation, because when I left, it didn't hurt anymore.

Oh, certainly, by twisting a particular way, bending too far, I could still find the pain - that is, if I tried to hurt myself I could do so, easily. But the majority of the pain was gone.

I have not the slightest idea how this is possible, and I now find myself with a mystical respect for physiotherapists; I feel about Rebecca (my hero) the way I imagine a primitive tribesman must have felt about his witch doctor. I don't understand, but I do not care. I am only grateful!
Read more!